It is with a heavy heart that I must remove one star ⭐, or eggplant 🍆, from my previous review of my Mochi Squishies Squishy Toys Squeeze Random Animals Stress Toy Kawaii Squishies by Shovan, 30 Pieces.
Once it was confirmed by several hundred people that one of the MSSTSRASTKSbS30Ps I ordered was definitely not an Animal, and was, in fact, a Penis, it started to generate some tension in our household.
My Amazon Review for “Mochi Squishies Squishy Toys Squeeze Random Animals Stress Toy Kawaii Squishies by Shovan, 30 Pieces”
Dear Amazon –
I recently purchased your MSSTSRASTKSbS30P (aka Mochi Squishy Animal Stress Toys) for my son’s 2nd Grade “End of School” Treasure Box
As always, I relied purely on all of your completely legitimate product reviews to make my final purchase decision. Sure, I was a little suspicious that all of the reviews were 5 stars, in broken English, and submitted within the past month, but I was sold by Sunny’s critique about being “worried that the smell would be too heavy” but discovering that her “worry were superfluous” after receiving them.
If they pass Sunny’s sniff test, then that’s good enough for me! Read more
I am setting forth on a new adventure and working on putting together a book proposal. I have been honored to be part of several humor and parenting anthologies but writing an entire book is a whole new ballgame.
When putting together my proposal for prospective agents, I will be highlighting several examples of my work, one of which will be this previously unpublished treasure that my mom discovered while cleaning out her garage. Don’t be surprised if you someday see this 1980 classic, “The Dogs that Never Stoped Loveing,” on the NYT Bestseller list, (or back in the bottom of a box in my attic.) Read more
My psychosomatic pregnancy scare has influenced the approach I take when teaching my own kids about sex. Since preschool, my kids have known that boys have penises, not “wee-wees,” and that girls have vaginas, not “front-butts.” They also learned that babies are made when penises enter vaginas, not when 10-year-old boys sneak a peek at your underwear. Read more
You knew it couldn’t last forever, but still didn’t realize that the end would come this quickly and be so painful.
Mom 2.0 Summit 2018 is over.
Reentry to the real world can be hard, but you’re not alone. In fact, all 800 of us are drifting through our lives today wondering why these vaguely-familiar little humans keep asking us for things like “cereal” and all we can say is, “TWO DAYS AGO I WAS EATING MY BODY WEIGHT IN CHEESE BLINTZES AND NO ONE WAS ASKING ME FOR THINGS!” Read more