Read My Books

I’m thrilled to be writing my first solo book, Metamomphosis.

Metamomphosis is a What to Expect When You’re Expecting for when what you’re expecting is to lose your identity and your sanity when you quit your job to become a stay at home mom. It’s the book I wish I had fourteen years ago, when I left my lucrative advertising career to become a stay at home mom. Leaving the office my last day felt a lot like driving a new car off the lot: my value dropped by a third just by crossing that threshold, and only got worse after years of being covered in Goldfish crackers. Metamomphasis is the guide moms need to redefine their time at home as a bridge to the next evolution of their career instead of a cliff they’re pushing their careers over.

If you’re interested in learning more about my progress writing the book and in being notified when it’s available, sign up for my newsletter in this handy little sign up form and I’ll add you to my list. Also, join me over at the Metamomphosis Facebook group where try to remind ourselves that our kids aren’t the only ones with interesting talents and hobbies.

I’m honored to have my stories included in six parenting anthologies.  These collections of short stories are perfect for busy moms – You can sneak in a story break, even if you only have a few minutes to spare.

This year has shown us that the future is decidedly female. While raising daughters has perhaps never been simple, it is growing more complex by the day. In a parenting age that often tells young girls that they are somehow “less than,” one award-winning publisher decided to assemble a collection of voices to celebrate the girls in our lives. These are those stories.

Learn more and buy here.


SusanneKerns.com Surviving Life With Boys

Raising boys is an amazing experience. There is nothing quite like the bond between a mother and a son. The Unofficial Guide to Surviving Life With Boys is a collection of hilarious and heartwarming stories from 35 fabulous bloggers.  If you have a son you are going to love this book!  Learn More & Buy Here.


But Did You Die Anthology
 

But Did You Die? is fifth hilarious installment in the New York Time bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. But Did You Die? is a collection of terrible (but also kind of good) parenting advice from some of the funniest moms and dads on the ‘net. And that one super helpful childless friend we all have who loves to tell us we’re parenting wrong. Put your kids in front of the TV and let them eat junk while you read this book and laugh your tail off. We set the bar low so you can feel better about your parenting skills. You’re welcome.
 
 
 
 

I Just Want To Be Perfect - The Dusty Parachute
I Just Want to Be Perfect is the fourth book in the bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. It brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.
 
The cult of perfection is a thing. As women, we are constantly inundated with “helpful” and/or “ah-may-zing” tips to improve our looks, please our men, raise the next Einstein (in a wheat-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free environment), and feng shui the crap out of our homes. Whether it’s the hot new diet that involves only eating what you can forage from the floor of your minivan, bleaching everything from your hair to your teeth to your butt hole, or clearing your clutter by mindfully thanking your ratty underwear for its long, dedicated service before you toss them, we’ve all tried something to be more perfect. We all try strive for perfection and balance in our lives, and most of us fail–spectacularly. These are those stories.
 
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it's really 10 months book2
 

The girlfriends from It’s Really 10 Months are back with more hilarious and heartwarming stories about pregnancy, labor and delivery.

Welcome to the club of parenthood, however the heck you got here. We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.

We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.

Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

 

Martinis & Motherhood - Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!

Stories that inspire, entertain, and make you laugh ’til you pee. Plus martinis! And not just any-old-martinis—these ones were designed just for moms!

These tales of Wonder, Woe and WTF?! share a little glimpse into the lives of other moms, who are a lot like you. Through their tales, we’re reminded to savour the little things (like capturing extra morning snuggles), to let go of the stresses (they won’t be in that unfortunate phase forever), and to be grateful for the laughs that the unexpected brings (because laughing is better than crying and it may be the only workout our abs get!).

So shake up an easy-to-make martini, put your feet up (quickly, before the kids find you) and join us on our journey as we toast to the many clink-worthy moments that motherhood brings.

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