Beware of Unsolicited Pumpkin Texts

There’s a good chance my in-laws think I’m crazy.

I miss 85% of their correspondence because I only check emails once a month.

It takes me approximately four months to cash the kids’ birthday checks they send.

There’s the time I left them SIX PAGES of crazy baby-care instructions while they were babysitting our (then) one year old daughter.

And then there’s the Pumpkin-Text-Fiasco of 2013.

It all started innocently enough. My husband’s parents were coming to Austin for a visit and stopped in Weatherford, Texas on their drive from Arizona. That’s when the confusion began, when I received this text from my father-in-law.


Okay, nothing out of the ordinary so far. My MIL is incredibly thoughtful and I can see her seeing these and wanting to buy them them for us, and I can also see my FIL throwing in a sarcastic ‘wonderful” after being asked to text us a picture of some pumpkins sitting on a school bus.


Oh dear…he’s referring to her as “my mother in law”.

Are they fighting?

Are we fighting?

Maybe he’s mad because it took me hours to respond to his previous text sinceI was at the doctor’s office for yet another one of my daughter’s crazy injuries.

The Pumpkin Text Fail -

Okay, best to say we didn’t want the pumpkins since they were probably an hour out of town already due to my delayed response. And seriously, you do not want to see what happens to a pumpkin on a hot day in Texas. (And for the love of god, never, ever carve a pumpkin until 5pm on October 31st unless you want a serious science experiment on your hands.)


Well, those ARE wonderful artificial pumpkins because I totally thought they were real. And my father in law is either in a very silly mood or had a couple drinks with lunch...”I only deal in top quality items”?????


Ha Ha Ha….Get it….because the pumpkins were sitting on a school bus seat???? Haaa…..



Okay, now things are getting a little weird. My FIL is supportive and all, but usually not in a pumpkin-related way.


Not sure of her number? Okay, without Siri’s help I don’t know my husband’s number either, but aren’t you kinda standing next to her right now?

And why did I have to call her when I’m texting you?

Are you guys not speaking to each other?

Did you abandon her on the pumpkin school bus?

Do I need to….

……ohhhh wait a minute…


My apologies to that poor, confused shop owner who will definitely never send text messages on her customer’s behalf ever again.

And if you’re ever in Weatherford, TX, the pumpkins really are wonderful.

Halloween Pumpkin Text Fail

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